So yeah, done being a fat ass. Done feeling sorry for myself. Done being depressed. Done being a lazy asshole.

I have been thin before. I know how good it feels. I know how confident I was and how I felt beautiful inside and out. But look what I have done to myself, and I have nobody to blame but me.

So here it is. I'm going to post my picture on here in a day or two, of how I really look. As much as it sucks, thats what I am going to do. And starting Tuesday, I will be at weight watchers. I dont care how scared I am about how much I have gained since the last time I was there, I dont care how much I DONT want to be at the meeting, I am going to sit there and listen. Because of all the people in the world, and of all the places to be, that is one of very few places that I can be were others know EXACTLY what I am going through. That is going to be my new support system. And I know its going to suck really hard the first week. but after that, it will be smooth sailing. I can go on walks with my family, I can eat right and make healthier choices, and I am not just talking about healthier food choices. I mean all the choices I make, on a day to day basis. I can start taking better care of myself and my daughter. and I am not going to let anything get in the way of that.

So......here I go. I need to get a good nights sleep so I can start my new life tomorrow. Wish me luck :)

J.